Making the World a Better Place
“Lean in and work hard to make the world a better place,” they said. “Bring your authentic self, and you will shine,” they said.
Nina's mom used to say that women are born to shine. However, the path to success was full of roadblocks. She was raised listening to her mom, who insisted that women should study, work hard, and make their own money to be independent. Women from past generations believed they would only get somewhere in life if they worked as hard as men. This was their path to freedom. Primarily, this was because many older women never had the opportunity to achieve these things. They struggled for their own freedom while watching their husbands succeed as they stayed home, taking care of the house, children, and whatever else society had in mind for them.
Like many women in Nina's generation, she was led to believe that the way to success was to study hard, find a good job, work diligently, get promoted, make money, climb the corporate ladder, and "be someone." Eventually, independence would be hers. Women would be free to do whatever they wanted. This never-ending cycle was supposed to lead to a comfortable, independent life without needing a man to survive.
Older women in the corporate world also thought this way. They were responsible for convincing the younger female workforce that all they had to do was "Lean In"1 to be successful. Women in Nina's generation listened to Britney Spears singing, "You better work, bitch." So that's what Nina and many other women in her generation did—"work hard, bitch."
They thought they could finally compete with men on equal terms. However, life was not that simple. First, they needed to find a good job. By the time they worked hard to get to the "good job" stage, they would realize that men were still at the top. In many corporate roles, women took assistant and operational positions. Men got raises. On bad days, women would get harassed. On good days, women would get roses for Women's Day. Despite all, many women starting their careers had to study hard and work even harder.
Eventually, Nina ended up at what some would describe as a "good job” in a global tech company. It was 2010. Tech companies were flourishing. There was a positive sense that they would revolutionize labor conditions—ping-pong tables, free coffee whenever you wanted, good perks, toys, sweatshirts, and sneakers were part of the new labor conditions. Everybody was part of a global team.
"We are global," they said.
Everyone wanted to work for one of these companies. Competition was tough. They said getting into one of these companies was as challenging as being accepted into a top university. There were a few companies like these. Most of them had a life-changing motto. Most would say they would revolutionize the world—make it better.
"We are here to make the world a better place," they said.
"We are like a big family," they said.
These companies were ruled by ambitious young men who had the luxury of dropping out of an Ivy League university to "try something out" to "change the world." In their megalomaniac minds, the world needed them. And, of course, eventually, they would become billionaires.
Despite the selfish reasons for which these men created these companies, who did not want to make the world a better place?! Those who were not on board were probably the worst people on Earth. So, like a cult, everyone was there to “change the world.”
These companies talked about equality. They liked to have slogans and banners all over the office supporting women's rights, Black and Latino rights, LGBTQIA+ rights, animal rights, and whatever rights you can imagine.
"Here, you can be yourself," they said.
"Here, you can bring your authentic self," they said.
They claimed everyone had the right to be there on equal terms. They celebrated diversity. There was a celebration week for everyone. There were committees to defend employees' rights—but no unions! Unions were taboo. This is probably because these companies thought unions could remind employees that they were alienated2—in all senses of the term—and they could start demanding labor rights and protesting against what was wrong.
However, like a cult, these companies also had the support of many employees who were part and parcel of this process, saying that their lives were too good to be unionized.
"We are not like other types of workers," they said.
"We are different," they said.
"We have everything we need," they said.
Including the pingpong table!
After the pandemic, Nina realized she had always lived in a pandemic mode. She had always worked remotely. Her life was filled with countless meetings at odd hours. Video calls had been a reality since the early days of her career. Nina would take these calls late at night and early in the morning. She would skip her personal life to focus on work and drag her partner into this messy life by waking the poor man up early in the morning with the noise of the most boring meetings. Despite all, Nina had never noticed that she was in a vicious cycle. This was her moment of independence. She was taught this way.
This was their "moment to shine," they said.
Women had to "lean in," they said.
Women had to strive to make it to the top. Yet, their role models at the top were some traditional white American women who looked way too energetic for their age. They were the female version of the American dream. They could do it all: have a husband, freeze their eggs, reproduce at a late age, and still have the stamina to travel around the globe for countless events. They were always motivated, never tired, and had the perfect straight hair and flawless skin. These companies enjoyed diversity events that would bring these women to discuss "how we made it to the top and our struggles in the workforce"—even though they disagreed, they had to be unionized. They considered themselves special.
Nina thought she would never make it. She did not look like them, come from the same elite colleges, be in the same circles of people, or think like them. Nina had messy curly hair. Sometimes, her skin looked terrible because she lacked sleep to attend countless meetings. She also had a funny accent and lacked an American passport. There was no way she could get there.
English is the language of these "global companies." This was the universal way of communication. Of course, that was not her mother tongue. Nina's accent was different, occasionally funny. Her emails would be sent with tiny typos. Sometimes, her colleagues would make fun of them. She would also not get some cultural references or expressions. Frequently, she would get lost in translation. Say inappropriate things because she was not "thinking in English." She also did not feel culturally appropriate. The corporate world demanded many changes of her own self so she could fit in—and eventually make it there.
Yet, "here, you can bring your authentic self," they said.
Promotion cycles were typical every year. The process was simple. People would work hard and, in many cases, work hard on completely useless projects to justify their promotions. They would drag as many people as possible with them to justify their projects. Networking was necessary, and essential things were deprioritized. People had to work on projects "as if they were their babies," they would say. Before the promotion cycle, employees would have to "sell" themselves and explain the useless stuff they worked on. People would get graded based on that. Bosses would decide who "has been performing at the next level for a while," which also translated to "who has been working for a long time and not getting paid what they deserve." These companies sold this model of "promotion" as a standard for other companies also. The idea was undoubtedly well-received in the neoliberal system, as companies would maximize employees' performance without paying them what they deserved. The entire system functioned that way. Even managers would embrace this idea as part of their "motivational" speech to their teams.
This was the time when Nina was expecting a big promotion. More money meant more responsibility and new projects, but also more independence—as they were taught at an early age. Nina worked hard on a project to "clean up the mess online." Today, many people understand what is meant by "cleaning up the mess online." Still, at the time, people thought the internet was a place for unicorns, cat videos, and people mobilizing online for good causes around the globe.
The internet was "causing revolutions" around the globe, they said.
Nina knew the worst of the worst online. She knew all the bad corners of the internet—where the drug dealers were, where terrorists met, how pedophiles groomed kids, how porn was spread all over, what neo-nazis said, and so on. Whatever bad thing one can imagine is on the dark web today, she was familiarized with.
While people ignored these people's existence at the time, today, we know that whoever "cleans up the mess" works hard. Today, thanks to civil society organizations and employees who do not shy away from speaking up, people talk about labor laws for people dealing with harmful content. However, at the time, these companies made employees like Nina and most people in the world believe they were riding unicorns online and playing ping-pong during office hours.
It was on a big project to "clean up the mess" that Nina met Jack. Jack had just joined the team—a nice guy. He had a feminist vibe, treated women respectfully, and made sure not to mansplain or interrupt them when they were talking. It does not require much to be a man in the corporate environment. Skills like that, combined with the "no harassment" policy, were enough for women to appreciate their male counterparts in the office and call them "feminists."
Jack and Nina worked together. At the time, Nina was leading the project of her career life. She taught Jack everything he needed to know to familiarize himself with the worst of the internet while taking it easy. Pretending they were not dealing with the worst of the worst online, they also pretended they were riding unicorns while enjoying the endless free flow of coffee. Nina promised to finish this project and pass it on to Jack as she expected to be promoted and have new responsibilities.
She was "already working at the next level," her boss said.
She told Jack it was his "time to shine," as they said.
She supported Jack, who was increasingly demonstrating excellent skills. She provided him with outstanding feedback and even negotiated with her boss to give him a bonus for his performance. Nina thought she was being a great leader, as they say.
"Performing in the next level," as they say.
"We are like a big family," as they say.
It was promotion day. Nina moved to the other side of the globe for this promotion. Her boss was also a woman, and she had all her support.
"Women should support each other," they said.
Nina completely changed herself for this promotion. She was eating food she did not like. She lived in a country she did not like. She forgot her mother tongue and culture for this promotion. Her family and friends were far away. She changed her accent and behavior and completely removed her mannerisms to fit in and be accepted. She thought all of that would contribute to her career success. She became an "online cleaner" for this promotion. Nina became someone she was not for this promotion.
Yet, "here, you can be yourself," they said.
Coincidentally, the promotion day happened on Women's Day. So, the company offered Nina a rose as usual. Nina's boss, Elisa, called her into her office. They both shared a cup of coffee and talked about how women shared the same struggle in the corporate environment. They talked about what it was like to work hard as a woman to make it to the top. In this conversation, Nina was expecting her boss to eventually give her some good news. In that year, just one person could get promoted: Nina.
History repeats itself. For women like Nina, the fall is always imminent. Jack passed by Nina and thanked her for all the excellent training and feedback she provided him. It helped with his promotion, he said.
That was his "time to shine," they said.
Nina, on the other hand, "was not performing at the next level," they said.
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead is a 2013 book by the former COO of Meta that encourages women to assert themselves at work.
Definition: (1) the state or experience of being isolated from a group or an activity to which one should belong or in which one should be involved. (2) in Marxist theory, this is a condition of workers in a capitalist economy resulting from a lack of identity with the products of their labor and a sense of being controlled or exploited. More details in https://www.britannica.com/topic/alienation-society